Life happens...
SOCIETY WAS THE GREATEST GIFT I EVER GAVE MYSELF!
By the time I was 60, I had pretty much become the person people wanted me to be. I don’t know how this happens, but it does. It’s a slow process, and one that takes over your whole being, your personalty and basically your whole life. Until somehow, it just doesn’t belong to you any more.
For me, the transition from a young lover to a 60 year old Nanna has been a pleasant one. I’ve loved having my children and my grand daughter, first and foremost in my life. But without realizing, I got lost somewhere along the way.
As they grew and became more independent, I quite readily took a back seat on life. I found myself just sitting around, waiting, goodness, knows what for!
This went on for about five year’s. I went to work, came home, babysat, did whatever was needed of me basically. I found my only escape in the bottle of wine that kept me company every evening. Without fail, there it was each night after work waiting for me ,like a friend ready to listen. Glass number one welcomed me home and told me to put my feet up and relax, we would contemplate the day together and smile, feeling excited about life in general.
If you want to drink, get dressed, go out and socialize. Surround yourself with positivity!
Glass number two never could really live up to number one. But still we made plan’s. One day we would travel again, like when I was younger, oh the memories! Glass number two was always prompting me to do the things i wanted to do. Always encouraging and supportive of my plan’s. Get dressed up and go out more, instead of sitting alone every evening with just me for company, you’re too young for this.
Glass number three? Now this was on a strong son of a bitch! What the hell do you think you’re doing, sitting here night after night? You’re letting time pass you by. Get back out there. Go on a date! You don’t have to sit here alone every night, it’s your choice, only you can change this. And knowing you like i do, I know you can get out there and do anything you want to.
How do you become your own worst enemy…
Remember your dictum in life before you forgot who you are? B.A.D. ball’s. Attitude and direction… come on shazza, book a trip somewhere, go traveling, you’ve always wanted to go to Burma, why not start there? It’s too cold for work at the moment (my work is outdoors) two months in the sun would be amazing! Let’s look, see if we can find a good flight deal. And to be fair to glass number three, it helped me plan the whole trip from start to finish. Even helped me decide on what clothes to take. Gosh it was so exciting , sitting every evening making plan’s together, dreaming of what it would be like traveling to a country I hadn't been to before, to travel away from the usual tourist traps and just be me!It’s always nice to share your plans with someone else as you grow more excited about the idea. It was usually at this stage we would invite glass number four…
Drinking at home alone no matter what your background, leads to a lonely life and attracts negativity…
Glass number four. Well! what can I tell you about this one? It totally agreed with everything we had to say and all the plans we had made. But, as we sat together we would start to get tired. Gosh! Look at the time, we’d been at it for almost four hour’s. I had work tomorrow, I should go to bed. Let’s carry on a little longer glass number four would say, commenting on the fact that we had some great flights, and the clothes I’d chosen were ideal, perfect for a hot country, or do you i think that maybe I should travel light and buy local clothes when I’m there as they would be much more suitable to the climate, and after all Asia is so cheap. I’d sit and ponder this for a while, not quite being able to decide. (it made sense at the time) By this stage my head would be filling a little fuzzy, so I thought it best to invite glass number five who I would send to chase glass number one. Only it never could catch it! so it would send me off to bed promising that we would book it all tomorrow after a good night’s sleep.
I never quite trusted glass number five as it came from another bottle!
Life is much clearer when you’re not looking through the bottom of a glass…
And this pretty much went on for four or five years… Until one day, glass number six gate crashed the party, and I realized that enough was enough!!!
And I’ve never looked back!
I make a point now of only drinking socially and never alone..